Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
