absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
