Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
