I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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