College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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