tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she smelled like a LAN party
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
