You can't special order awesome
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
