on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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