yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
