stop calling my apartment porn island.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
