He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
