I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
