She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They took my balls.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
