dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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