Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
