He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
