hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
