that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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