You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
50% drunk capacity currently
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
