Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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