she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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