One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
