i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish i was in the wii world.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
