i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
