just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
