is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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