I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
