If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
