just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my poor anus
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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