He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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