I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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