True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
