Redeem this text for a blowjob
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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