nut hugger
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
