just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
