Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
