even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
