Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
