part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
