She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize