the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
