There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
