all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
