So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
