Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
