he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
