The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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