You smell like stripper and shame
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
