After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize