so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize