We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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