he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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