If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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