I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
