chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Bring me that man meat
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
