He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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