the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
