Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
