sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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