that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize