he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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