So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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