You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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