i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Randomize