if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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