i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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