So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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