You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
